Have you been in this cycle? Your Teen refuses to do homework, claiming they don’t have any or that it’s not important and that no one does it anyway? Then you get to parents’ evening and realise their grades have slipped and they’re failing. Your Teen is embarrassed and promises that they will do better from now on and is genuinely convinced that they will change their ways. Only to have completely forgotten their promise the following week when you ask them to do their homework?

If this sounds familiar and you are dealing with a stubborn, headstrong and resistant Teenager, life can feel like a battle everyday. 

So what can you do when your Teen won’t do homework?

I’ve worked as an Academic Coach, Learning Coach and Doctor and this is the advice I give to the parents’ who can’t get their kids to listen to them. I tell parents to take a step back and re-focus on themselves.

Because it’s YOU who wants something. Not your Teen.
(They don’t want anything and nagging from you, is a small price to pay for the status quo)

First ask yourself these questions;

• Which of your VALUES does this align with? (learning, education, strength, courage, resilience etc…)

• What is it EXACTLY that you want your Teen to do? (starting homework after school, getting all set homework done, independent prepping for a test etc..)

• Why does this MATTER to you? (get good grades, good options later in life, feel confident, gain skills etc…)

Now, create a statement that guides your actions.

“I value {this} because I want {this} for my kids, so I expect {this}.”

For example; “ We value education, resilience and self-reliance so that our kids have choices available to them when they are older. Which is why there is an expectation in this house that all homework is done as soon as it is set.“

How does this help your Teen to get their homework done?

A statement of intent, states your expectations to your Teen AND reminds you (when you get push back) why you are doing it.  Many parents don’t realise that they are not being clear about their intentions, even when they think that all they do is tell their kids what to do. I’ve met a lot of students who don’t know what their parents want from them or how to get it. 

You don’t need to explain to your Teens; they need you to be the parent not co-parent. And remember these are your values and they matter. Values cannot be negotiated.

The next step is HOW. 

Once you have set your intentions, discover HOW to get your Teen motivated and focused on homework, without conflict. The Homework Flow Tool has been designed with parents of resistant Teens in mind. Imagine having a mini coach in your pocket, guiding you through, step by step, how to set up a study routine that your Teen will accept and thrive in. The Homework Flow Tool is suitable for ADHD and other neurodiverse students, completely editable and instantly downloadable.

Use science backed methods to break the cycle of homework battles today.